There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
