I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
