508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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