I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
