It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
