I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
