No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
