I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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