I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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