Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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