Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
