She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
