Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
