Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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