So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
