I like my sex mixed with concussions.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
