his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
