we made out on top of his cat.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
