Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
