Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
