my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
These tits shall not be calmed
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
