Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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