1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
there is puke in my bra ... again
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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