I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
