If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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