She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
