i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
