so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize