She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
