We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
