Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize