escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
