Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize