Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
