"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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