My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
