last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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