I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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