I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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