I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
where are my eyebrows?
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