help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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