so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
