i think i have two assholes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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