wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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