I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
