You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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