i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
