it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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