Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize