In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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