We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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