p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
