i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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