morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
time to smoke my breakfast
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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