Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
