i already hear my dad disowning me
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
