So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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