I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
