I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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