Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
