I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
