I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
