i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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