Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
