I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
