It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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