can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
